I woke up to the annoying voices of Regis and Kelly. They were about to have a bunch of zoo animals paraded before them, so I didn't immediately get up to turn it off.
First, there was a tiny, tiny leopard. It was squirming. And, as increasing restraint was applied to it, it started crying. Little leopard wails. Then the tiny yowls came. Someone gave Kelly a bottle. She tried to shove the nipple in its little angry mouth! She kept trying and trying as it wailed. Lady! You're an idiot. The cat does not want to eat. The cat doesn't want you to think it's cute. The cat does not want to be touched. The cat doesn't want to be anywhere near that stupid studio. You are traumatizing the poor cat. Someone finally had mercy on the leopard, or realized how terribly stupid the hostess was looking, and it was whisked away.
A Snow Macaque came out. Awwww. A monnnnkey! The first thing he did was grab Kelly's queque cards and start spitting them out. She shouldn't have made eye contact. Next, the monkey went for the camera man.
Animals are smart. Except sometimes when you're talking about human animals.
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