The Lament of Dog

Oh, humans. I hate you sometimes. There are not enough pig's ears and rawhide playthings to make this worthwhile. I am a dignified creature. You--not so much. I understand very well the way you eat ice cream out of the tub. I can relate to that. Why do you sit so still and watch the bright box with the noisy men? You don't move for hours and you ignore me. What exactly are my daily duties? Because THIS was not in the job description.